For a while there, it seemed like Alestorm were lost at sea— the pirate metal group were becoming more and more derivative with each release, culminating in the utterly ridiculous ‘Curse of the Crystal Coconut’ and the forgettable ‘Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum.’ As is true both on land and water though, ‘you either go big or go home:’ with their new concept album, Chris Bowes and company are going bigger, bolder, more bonkers than ever before. Though ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles’ definitely isn’t all smooth sailing, the band’s attempts to reinvigorate and push their sound result in one of their most exciting releases in years.

Any landlubbers who’ve enjoyed the band’s previous output should be relieved to hear that this is more of a refurbishment for the Alestorm sound than it is a reinvention: the band are still following the same treasure map as ever, putting their charming drunken pirate aesthetic at the album’s forefront. Lead single ‘Frozen P*ss 2’— the much-anticipated sequel to fan-favourite ‘Frozen P*ss,’ which definitely exists— coasts on the group’s familiar tenants, riding a wave of lighthearted keyboard inclusions and bouncy rhythms. The song is really nothing new for Alestorm (save for the Shiori Sasaki’s ethereal vocals in the bridge), but demonstrates newfound energy within the band: ‘Frozen P*ss 2’ is fast and full-on, plowing its way through a stomper of a chorus, and one of many excellent Máté Bodor guitar solos. Cuts like ‘Hyperion Omniriff’ and ‘Mountains of the Deep’ are positively dripping with that familiar pirate swagger, and are sure to keep all the sea-bound drunkards singing along.

Alestorm have always come warts-and-all, and ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles’ is no exception: even a pirate crew’s best expedition is prone to the occasional bout of scurvy, after all. Ship’s captain Bowes’ lead vocals are as uninspiring as ever, with his gravelly tone sacrificing musicality for the sake of the nautical aesthetic— moments like the verses of ‘Banana,’ where Elliot Vernon’s harsh vocals take the wheel, often come as a relief. For all the talk of this being Alestorm’s first conceptual release, it’s also disheartening to see the record’s lyrical content playing things as safe as humanly possible: drinking and seafaring remain the central focuses of ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles,’ playing a far greater role than any actual story the band were hoping to convey.

“Set sail for glory

We quest for gold under blood-red skies

We are the pirates

Our tale has just begun”

Of course, criticising Alestorm for sticking with their signature brand would have you walking the plank: the issue is that these themes have long exhausted their comedic potential. Bowes and company seem increasingly stuck for ideas as to how to keep the laughs coming— on ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles,’ each song’s name is usually more worthy of a chuckle than its actual content.

“Don't give a f*ck if we live or if we die

(You're a bunch of c*nts, you're a bunch of w*nkers)

So raise your hook in the Caribbean sky

(Stick it up your butt, stick it up your *rsehole)”

Indeed, Alestorm can appear beached at times, with the record’s worst moments being those that lack an interesting twist on the band’s usual formula. ‘Mountains of the Deep’ is about as standard of a track as the group have ever released, running through its sea-shanty-esque melodies like the ship is on cruise control— it’s nothing offensive, certainly, but speaks to the lack of inspiration that haunted the band’s last few releases. ‘The Storm’ plays things similarly safe, acting as the pseudo-uplifting ballad of the project: try as they might, Alestorm can’t help but sound like diet-Eluveitie here. ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles’ often veers off-course when it loses its focus on power and showmanship— ‘Goblins Ahoy!’ may be the worst offender, with its introductory sketch being its only noteworthy addition to the album.

In its best moments though, Alestorm’s eighth album can be seen thundering (no pun intended) through some of their most electrifying ideas to date. Opener ‘Hyperion Omniriff’ makes a grander entrance than Blackbeard in Charles Town, kicking the album off on a singularly imposing note— the song’s slow evolution from its titular ‘omniriff’ to bouncier grooves and a thrilling instrumental bridge feels overflowing with drunken enthusiasm, as you’d want from your pirate metal. Even heavier is the hilariously-titled ‘Banana,’ which rips into one of the most relentless riffs Bowes and company have ever penned and showcases some brilliant interplay between furious rhythm guitar parts and striking keys lines: the cut may otherwise play things somewhat safe, but ends up as one of the catchiest and most solid on offer here. 

We’d also be remiss not to gush over the album’s momentous closer ‘Mega-Supreme Treasure of the Eternal Thunderfist’— put simply, the seventeen-minute epic may just be the band’s most impressive feat yet. The song acts as a celebration of all things Alestorm, winding through; bombastic heavy metal grooves; wistful folk passages; climactic solos; black metal-adjacent screams; Ronnie James Duo worship; and much, much more. The song isn’t so progressive as it is just lengthy, but is soaked through-and-through in ambition nonetheless: ‘Mega-Supreme…’ is not just a thrilling conclusion to ‘The Thunderfist Chronicles,’ but a shining standout in the group’s discography.

After weathering some rough tides these past few years, Alestorm have finally discovered that X does indeed mark the spot— between its highs and its lows, their eighth album is something worth treasuring. The entire crew seem reinvigorated in 2025, more inspired by their pirate aesthetic than we’ve seen in quite a while: the resulting record is, put simply, a welcome dose of silliness. Even despite a number of quarrels with the album, you can bet we’ll be drinking to this one.