Avenged Sevenfold have never been a band content to sit in a box, but even by their standards, the avant-garde leanings of 2023’s ‘Life Is But a Dream…’ and 2026’s ‘STATICA’ err on the side of bewildering— they’ve certainly been divisive, to say the least. You shouldn’t need us to tell you that this new EP is really quite awful: your ears will do that for you. We’re here more so to tackle the question of how something like this could even happen.

Perhaps Shadows and company are taking a stance with this new release, boldly putting out a record that completely defies and denounces the anthemic choruses, fiery guitar leads and theatrical turns of their previous albums. It’s a real possibility, given just how far outside their wheelhouse ‘STATICA’ falls: if that were the case though, it’s amusing to see this EP finding its footing only in its most familiar moments. For all the god-awful vocoder effects and stunted drum loops they’re shoving in your face— drummer Brooks Wackerman has been completely sidelined at this point— the band can’t help but throw in a basic syncopated guitar riff on ‘REJOICE,’ and it should be no surprise that this cut is easily the strongest on offer here. Stripped of its genuinely bizarre presentation, the EP’s title track exudes a number of melodic ideas and chord progressions that might not have been out of place on something like 2016’s ‘The Stage.’ They’re just much, much harder to appreciate in this context.

If that’s not the case, then perhaps Avenged Sevenfold are genuinely pushing an artistic statement here, doubling down on the incessant genre-hopping and the high-concept themes from ‘Life Is But a Dream…’ To this, all we can say is that the greatest argument against is the EP itself. ‘STATICA’ feels entirely thrown together in post, chock-full of enough mixing faux pas to make St. Anger era Bob Rock blush: you’re treated to moments on here where the drum loops are panned so far into the right ear they’re practically distant, you’re given instances of vocal pitch correction ripped straight from Cher’s ‘Believe,’ you’re subjected to arrangements more cluttered than a god damn Jackson Pollock painting! Pretentious as it may sound, the idea that anyone could find merit in the awkward melodies and stark tones of ‘ASHES’ seems completely inconceivable— somehow, we are meant to believe that the talented musicians that make up Avenged Sevenfold are behind this auditory train wreck?

That leads us to another possibility, one that only becomes more and more plausible upon repeat listens: maybe Shadows and company are just messing with us. If the ungodly dissonant leads on opener ‘LIGHTS’ are self-aware parody from a band known for their explosive guitar work, the track is suddenly far easier to wrap your head around— honestly, this entire EP would make far more sense if it were confirmed to be an out-of-season April Fools’ joke. One look at the EP’s artwork, which is littered with more cringy taglines and edgy doodles than your average teenager’s journal, should be enough to convince you that ‘STATICA’ is either coming from a group who’re completely out-of-touch, or from one knowingly making themselves the butt of the joke. Or perhaps the band who put out the single ‘Magic’ last year (which was equally as appalling as this, and also decidedly serious in its intentions) really have lost the plot.

It’s quite fitting that Avenged Sevenfold, who have often played with themes of existentialism and absurdism, have released an entirely pointless EP: this really is a head-scratcher if we ever saw one. ‘STATICA’ isn’t just bad in the same way other albums are bad— it feels almost entirely engineered to be dreadful, but takes itself just seriously enough to avoid being written off entirely. Maybe we’ll never know what Shadows and company’s intentions were when making these four tracks. Truly, no answer could ever give this release a second lease on life.